Unfortunately I think the older I get the harder it is to please me. When I was younger my heart fluttered all of the time. I giggled when a boy caught my eye, now I am tempted to yell, "Hey asshole, what's your problem?" How does this happen? Is it, the more I see the less I'm impressed?
Whenever I see a child I envy the way he/she looks at the world. They are literally seeing some things for the first time. Unfortunately as we grow older we become accustomed to things and can end up passing something a hundred times before we notice it. My art has gravitated towards this idea for a very long time. I struggle to live in the moment and appreciate everything. Anyone who has seen my work (you can check it out here) knows that I go to great extremes to prove to others and to myself that everything holds significance. I do believe this, but sometimes I don't live in it.
Going on a date with your boyfriend/fiance/husband is not the same as going on a date with a guy you just met. I'm not saying I want to go back to the earlier part of my relationship, but I find that love can sometimes get pushed to the side of life and that is the last thing I want. Love is life and should never be taken for granted. So, why do I?
I think all of these thoughts are coming up for me partly because planning a wedding can often times be unromantic. And that is really the last thing I want to happen. From day one girls are told that the wedding is IT! The most romantic thing in the world, something you should build your whole life up to. So dramatic...I'm not putting my wedding under those categories, but it is difficult for something to remain romantic when money and planning are tossed into the equation. That's a reality check right away. So, how do I deal with this? I breath...and try to remember who I am marrying and that this is all that matters.
Anyone else experience ups and downs of romance and love in their own relationships?
Talk to me.
--Lauren
INWorldZ Friends ... People Make the World.
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I had the most fun in InWorldz last night (July 24, 2018) that I've had in
a long time. And there were more people on the grid than I've seen in quite
awhi...
3 comments:
I definitely have experienced those romantic ups & down. It seemed like in the early months/years of our relationship, everything Kenton did was so sweet/thoughtful/romantic - he could do no wrong. Obviously that has worn off, but it's so easy for it to turn into "Can he do nothing right?!" That's a completely harsh statement & not really how I feel - but there are moments.
Sometimes I wish there were more romance in our marriage & that Kenton did more of this or that..."this" & "that" tend to be influenced by those darn romantic movies that give me butterflies. :) I don't think Kenton is really acting any less romantic than he did when we started our relationship. I do think that this is a good reminder that we all probably need to work a little harder to show love & create romance than we used to. Including me. But at times it feels like: ESPECIALLY him! :)
It's a good thing to not put too much pressure on your wedding day. I came away from our big day picking apart all the things that didn't go as planned & that's a bummer. I put way to much emphasis on everything going perfectly & had a hard time when things did not go as planned. But those silly little details were completely unnoticeable & my focus should have been on what an important & amazing thing we were doing: joining our lives together in marriage.
Wow. Long comment today. Just want you to know, I've been there! :) Still working on it, in fact. I think it's part of flexing & growing as a couple in order to make it last.
Oh man!! Had I to do it over again...Steve and I were fighting like cats and dogs the month before the wedding. At one point we were both threatening the wedding happening at all over boutenirs - those tiny flowers men pin to their lapels. Ever since we got hitched, I love him more every day. Seriously. Every day. It sounds so corny but it's true. He does something or says something or is just sitting there looking at the computer and I think how lucky I am to live the rest of my life, however long that may be, with him. Even the bad contributes to the good. It's an incredible feeling. I will say our wedding was incredible, pulled off by friends and family members primarily and that's what made it special. Jason and Jeff did the music, oregon folks hung the decorations, Nobuko, Christine, Christy Holly and I did the flowers - special memories like that made my wedding special.
However....had we to do it over again, we'd do it old times style - just show up in your sunday best, bring some potluck, bring the family, bring some instruments, and have yourselves a good time. I think of that especially when I think about what planning the wedding was like.
Oh yeah, and I just wanted to add, since I seem to have missed at least part of the point, is the romance that comes from developments of your relationship, furthering your future together. Steve and I are going to start trying to have babies. I stopped taking my birth control pills. I have never loved him more. Which I think is necessary if we are going to have to start going at it with a little more purpose....
Things we have achieved individually and together that add to our future in some aspect contribute to the romance. Every good thing we do for ourselves or each other or our wellbeing (just makes me anyway) love more.
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