Here Comes the Bride

I'm engaged.

I don't know what else to say. I've been in this super joyful glowing universe for about a week and a half and I don't want it to end.

The planning for a wedding is already in the works. We are being hounded for a date, as though this is something that needs to be done and over with. We are receiving advise from left and right, people giving us suggestions on how we should do our wedding.

Weddings are like art, everyone has an opinion.

Very little is known at the moment about the big event that is The Wedding, but I really am determined to keep it intimate, low key and very much a stress free celebration. Most people say "Good Luck."

We shall see.

I was given a statistic yesterday by a co-worker who said that on a scale of 1 to 10 a wedding is a 12 for women and about a 3 for men. Then he went on to say in 20 years we will look at one another and in our minds ask, "Are we lovers or are we roommates?"

I'm sure I will have more to say and go through some revelations in terms of my own expectations and assumptions as the months pass. I will share those with you as they come.

For now I am basking in the glowing sun of engagement.

--Lauren

Aloha!

Hi all! Sorry I'm slacking on the blogging lately. I'm in Hawaii enjoying what I feel is a well deserved vacation.

Just wanted to send a hello your way and say thanks to Heidi for her last post. I love the honesty and you bring up some great questions. I was watching the Today Show yesterday morning and they were talking about "settling." This seems to be a hot topic lately. I believe that it is something that is tossed around in many people's heads. It is the question of whether or not we choose to be with someone simply because we want a companion (even though they don't fulfill our romantic, head over heels ideas, etc.) or do we pass them along with hopes of finding our soulmate.

I have never been one to advocate settling. I got a lot of shit from single friends once I had a boyfriend whenever I tried to say that they would find true love. But, I have always believed that settling only hurts you in the end.

I do, however believe that being single is not a life of hell. Again, I get the eye rolls and the "come on, you don't know what you are talking about" when I say this. But, I have said it many times in past blogs and I will say it again--I don't think that you will have a long lasting companionship if you do not first find happiness within yourself.

So, I say, don't settle but don't get discouraged if you haven't found "the one."

That just touches on the surface, but I wanted to leave a little comment to Heidi and all of you out there.

Let us know what you are thinking.

Thanks!
Lauren

table for one

Well, for a while there I was getting cocky, being as I was in a relationship that was going on three months. "Maybe I can't give the single perspective anymore on our blog" I thought to myself.

But, as it turns out, I am freshly single again as of today. Urg.

I am of course bummed out about my relationship not working out, but if you've been a faithful blog reader you'll remember I knew this relationship was a longshot from the start. So, no big surprises here. We were incompatible on a lot of levels. But I did like the guy. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel disappointed to once again find myself at the end of an unsuccesful relationship.

Break ups. I guess they hurt less the more you do them, especially if you do them for the right reasons. I feel like even though this relationship was a short one, I learned a few lessons about speaking my mind, following my heart, and listening to my intuition (which has the annoyingly cassandra-esque quality of being always right but easily ignored). Of course they make me a little wistful, and they bring up a lot of emotion and thoughts in me, but the two I want to share with you all are these two:

1. Is it a delusion to always be looking for that one "great love" that will be amazing and once in a lifetime? Is life really just full of small love and small moments that we can miss if we are focused on the hollywood ending? What's healthy about wanting romance and what is not?

and also,
2. I've been pondering the difference between "single and looking" and "single and not looking". Or I guess more specifically, being happy by yourself. Is it acceptable for people in our society to be single and not want to find a mate?


Just a few thoughts. Feel free to comment on them if you like. Or offer your own break-up war stories as solace. I'm off to the trenches.

Also, go vote tomorrow peeps!