I thought I'd write today about some of the things that I know aren't true about relationships and dating, but I still wish they were.
Delusion #1: the one and only soulmate.
I so wish this were true. Someone, ot there, perfectly compatible with me, destined for each other, across the universe. Sounds nice, doesn't it? But even the founder of eharmony finds someone for me based on the 13 proven compatibilty factors, I imagine there are lots of people that I might end up happy with.
Delusion #2: He will fix all my problems.
A handy dandy man shaped cure-all. This one sounds ludicrous when you say it out loud, but in the very corners of my heart, I often fool myself into believing that if I only found that special someone, everything would be perfect. I've heard this called "the Cinderella complex"
Delusion #3: If you pick the right guy, it'll always be smooth sailing.
No, no way. I can be plenty annoying, and if my man never calls me on it, well that would just be weird. Plus, life happens. Traffic, sickness, lay off, crankiness, money problems, they will come.
Delusion #4: Good sex means we are meant for each other
I laughed when I read Marie's post about guys who are "Good sex, No future" boys. Good chemistry can be so magical that it seems you must be cosmically connected and destined for each other (okay, maybe I'm talking about really awesome sex). But even so, one must wade past the phermones and look to the boring old things like respect, compatibility, and long term goals.
Delusion #5: He should know what I'm thinking without me saying it.
Poor guy, he has to be telepathic too? This is a bad habit I have, in all y relationships, but especially my romantic ones. Note to self: say what's bothering you!
How about you all? Any delusions you are carrying around that you know are actually false?
-Heidi
INWorldZ Friends ... People Make the World.
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I had the most fun in InWorldz last night (July 24, 2018) that I've had in
a long time. And there were more people on the grid than I've seen in quite
awhi...
1 comment:
Good subject! I think one of our "delusions" is that everyone is looking for the same thing in a relationship, that we are all speaking the same "relationship language" and that if we can just meet the right person it will all work out. For me personally, my ideas of a relationship are very unrealistic, I think. No one in my family growing up had a relationship, so I never saw people interacting in that way. My only examples were seen in movies, and we all know how real that is ;-). I have to chuckle when I think about what I look for in a man and what I expect to happen ... it is all based on fiction. Unfortunately, people in the real world just don't function that way; guys are what they are, whether liars, cheaters, or drunks. In fairness to men, I realize that I also don't hold up my end of the relationship, I expect the man to do the thinking and fulfill my happiness. The cure? I'm not sure, but it makes me feel better to be myself, pursue my goals, do the things I love, and try to be a good friend. I think a good friend makes a good partner.
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