I suppose...

My boyfriend and I have had several conversations with friends asking us how we know we are "supposed to be together." We are coming up on our 6th year of being a couple, and we are fairly young, so for a lot of people it is shocking that we have lasted. My answer to the question is,"Gosh, I don't know..."

It just works. That's how I know that we are supposed to be together. I know that it's a mix of our personalities, being open and honest with one another, being sexually attracted to one another, etc. Something inside me tells me everyday that he and I are meant for one another.

Heidi's post got me really thinking about relationships. I would agree with Marie's comment, that perhaps Heidi is where she is "supposed to be." I do believe we always are, but most of the time it takes hindsight to see it.

I think sometimes even though we may want to be in a committed relationship, we may not be ready. I've met people who have told me that they just can't meet someone. Don't get me wrong, I feel so privileged to be in the relationship I am in. When asked why they think their particular relationships don't work out, At times I get a Jerry Seinfeld answer that seems insignificant. Like her nose was a little lopsided or something. I think when you are at the point when the little things bother you about someone, you are trying to achieve the impossible. You are reaching for a perfection that does not exist. Hell, you're not perfect, so why should your partner have to fit into that box?

I am reminded of the movie High Fidelity. And as often as we talk about mainstream media putting pressure on everyone to be someone they're not, there are some nuggets of gold out there worth finding and High Fidelity is on of them.





I also think that when you tend to find something wrong with everyone you date, or you go for the people that you know are not going to work out, just to have a little fun, you don't really want to be in a committed relationship. You, perhaps are in love with the idea of being in love, but you are not ready to be in love. And that is perfectly fine. I say, ride the wave, have some laughs, learn a little about yourself and at some point you will be ready. I also think, getting back on the expectation side, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be in a certain place at a certain time. And if you are at an age where you thought you would have found "the one" and you have not, you think you have failed.

I do know that when you do find yourself in a committed relationship it should be pretty darn easy. Of course you will go through trying times. We have all been so honored with Marie's honesty this last week and been witnesses to a hard time in her life. But, for the most part, on a day to day basis, I think it should be easy. You shouldn't have to struggle. It should just be a part of you like your hands, heart, hair, whatever. Should feel like home. Of course, this is just my opinion. I would love to hear what you all have to say about this subject.

Pretty much everything about my relationship is what it is supposed to be. I know that sounds like I'm sugar coating it, but honestly I'm not. I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend and I know he feels the same way about me. He's comfortable, secure, challenging, exciting, everything to me.

What do you think?

---Lauren