Moments I will never forget...

As is clear with Marie's situation, being stared in the face with death can make truth very easy to see. All of a sudden your ducks are perfectly in a row and you know what's number one on your list of importance. My paternal grandfather's passing was one of those moments for me. Even though it was not the first family death I had to deal with, it was the first one that was a surprise at an age where I really understood what was going on. At that moment I realized I had no control. I was packing up my room inside a house I shared with 4 other people, just graduated from college. My boyfriend and I were leaving in the next few days to drive to Arizona to drop off all of my things to my parents house. He was coming with me to spend more time with my family and meet my grandfather. Unfortunately he never got to do that.

My grandfather's passing started me on a path of learning to let go. His death coincided with my boyfriend and I moving away from one another. He was moving to California, me to Arizona to finish up an internship and find a graduate school.We had no idea if we would be able to be together forever. For the several months after my grandfather's death and graduation, I had several defining moments, and many of them were shared with my boyfriend.

I being a control freak HATED the "not knowing" aspect of our relationship at the time. I had to learn to live moment by moment and soak in my boyfriend's face, laugh, smile, hands, hair, everything so that I would at least have the memories. We basically spent the next three months together because we didn't know where the road would lead after August. We spent 5 weeks in Italy hopping from town to town. There are millions of defining moments floating around in Italy that we experienced. One, in particular, was in Gubbio. We were sitting across from one another eating rabbit for the first (and I think only) time. My boyfriend mentioned that he was glad we had decided to come to Italy together and that we were still in a relationship, even though we had both known for quite a while that we would be moving a part from one another. I think we had both considered just breaking it off during the school year knowing that it would hurt so much more the deeper in love we fell when we had to say goodbye. But, we stuck with it and as bittersweet as that dinner was, me crying and smiling eating my rabbit, drinking my wine, laughing at myself--it was so worth it. We will always have that moment.

Dealing with my grandfather's death and the possible end of my relationship just hammered into my head that

1. I don't really have control.
2. Worrying about the future keeps you from seeing what is right in front of you.
3. Don't take anything for granted.

We ended up living apart for 9 months, I decided to get my Masters and got into a school that was in the Bay Area. We are so so so lucky that the two of us can live for our own selves and still be in the same town. I know a ton of couples that are forced to live miles away from one another to fulfill each one's individual dreams. But, that's what you have to do. You can't take care of someone before you take care of yourself.

We still have defining moments and I know we forever will.

I would love to hear any moments you all would like to share.

Marie, my thoughts are with you and your husband.

Thanks all.

--Lauren