Where do our delusions come from?

Last weeks post seemed a little existential, so I thought I'd make a fun assignment this week. Can you think of where some of your delusions about relationships came from in popular culture? I know religion, parents, friends, and school all did too (Oh we'll get to that, believe me!) but what pop icons did you grab onto that might have left a mark on how you perceived relationships?

I'll name three from my own formative years:



The Dick Van Dyke Show
This seems innocent enough back on Nick at Nite. But I was watching some episodes this week, and realize there are so many subplots in this show that flew under my radar. Sally, the quirky single writer is desperately, painfully single. And the happy wife was a housewife, who always had dinner waiting. What the hell did Laura Petri ever get to do on her own besides the shopping?

Second:


Princess Bride
I've probably seen this movie more times than any other single movie. True love, and its power in overcoming incredible obstacles (like shrieking eels and the cliffs of insanity, and even death) is a beautiful notion, but this movie skips right over communication, compromise, and the real work to make relationships work. No wonder I thought romantic love would just happen without any work on my part.

Third:



Star trek (Deep Space Nine)
Okay, okay, I was a big nerd in Jr.High and High School. Yes, I watched Star Trek and liked it. But check out the ridiculously costumed "seven of nine " character and the weird homoerotic "hot lesbian" subtheme. Urg. Apparently, even in the future lesbianism remains a male fantasy.


Okay, your turn. Where did some of your models of women in relationships come from?

--Heidi

p.s. there were of course several positive influences I thought about too-the Cosby Show deserves special mention for having an awesome strong female role model.

How to make your own "sexy"

I would say one of the main driving forces for today's popular ideas of sexy would have to be apathy. I believe most people work at the very least 40 hours a week and are so very tired at the end of the day that the last thing they want to do is think. This to me is a very very very sad state of affairs.

What is life for but to live? How can one live if one does not feel or think? I get it, working sucks most of the time. I understand that after working and then coming home to a house that is piled with clothes and dishes the last thing you want to think about is what it means to be sexy. So instead you have someone else tell you.

Stop it.

Let's all just take a deep breath and think for ourselves. Do not believe that sexy is all about the physical. Do not believe that there is one type of sexy woman and one type of sexy man. This world we live in thrives on diversity so why would we want to limit ourselves when it comes to feeling and thinking sexy?

Let's all work together to find our true definitions of sexy.

I would love to hear what you all have to say in terms of what influences our culture in terms of the direction and definition of sexy. Also, please send me your own definitions of sexy.

At the same time let's find it in ourselves to make sexy. Start your own new sexy trend that comes from within and has been influenced by you and your needs. Think about that and let me know what you come up with.

Thanks!
Lauren